Aang the Last Avatar
by blindwithabloodstainedkimono
Summary: A satire of all those stories written by people who know nothing about the series, but still write about it.


This is a satire of all those stories written by people who've only seen about two episodes of _Avatar: The Last Airbender _but still think they can write a good fanfiction. All mistakes in here are done on purpose. Enjoy.

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Socka was sitting on his couch, watching MTV on his flatscreen when some strange occurances started to happen. A bald monk flew into his house in Hong Kong, China, using his mutant powers to control the air around him.

"I still can't believe you can fly without your angel wings, " Soaka muttered sarcastically.

"Sokka, stop being so pessimistic. You're just jealous because I'm an avatar and your not, meaning I get to control the air!" Oong, the young AirManipulator shouted with youthful energy even though he was like eight hundred years old or something.

Just then a beautiful African woman surfed into Sokka's living room using her WaterControlling. Her hair was very frizzy as she made the water disappear. "That's some nice aqua," she said motherly. "Hey Sokka, Oang, what's up?" The girl asked motherly.

"Ugh, Katara, just because you're my twin sister doesn't mean that you can come WaterBreaking into my house!" Grunted Soko cynically. He was known everywhere as the Angry Idiot.

Once again, hilarious mayhem ensued! An entire wall in Sokka's living room crumbled down. It was the local peasant boy, Toph, using his super strenth to pumble the rock wall out of his way. Toph burped in greeting. Sokka blushed at his charming ways.

"I have an idea about what to do today, Gaang!" Aang started joyfully. "We could go on an adventure and save the world! Oh boy!"

"Not if I stop you first," Zuko, the resident hotty and all around bad boy, lisped sexily.

"Get the fuck out of my house. That means everyone," groaned Socka prissily.

"Fine, I'll just call Momo to pick us up," Aang told him. "Jetjetjetjetjet!" He used Momo's call. Moments later, an enormous flying bison crashed into what was left of Sooka's house.

"I hate you all so very much," Sooko screamed. They paid no attention to him as usual.

"Oh you brought along Apu," Toph said whilst farting, regarding the tiny lemur on Momo's back.

"I thought you were blind?" Sokka asked the young boy while blushing.

"I am you idiot." He scratched his privates while he informed him. Sokka almost came. Just then, Zoko and his cooking burn noticed the grimy Toph.

"Oh, my." He whispered. He strolled over to Toph and took his hands in his, stroking them ever so slightly. "I will be Fire Lord some day (as soon as I kill your friend), and I would be _honored _if you were my Fire King. You were made for royalty." He could not help staring at Toph's bare feet, a fetish of his.

"I don't think so. Even without my sight I can tell you look like shit. Please go cut off that dirty half-pony tail, you bitch." Even for a boy who grew up on the streets, Toph was considered rough around the edges. Zuko could only admire his tough exterior.

"I will melt away the pain, you beautiful boy," Zuko cooed sweetly/creepily into Toph's ear.

"And I will have sex with you." An unknown voice said sharply from seemingly out of no where.

"Who could that be?" Asked Katara motherly.

"It couldn't be...Oh no!" Zuko finally realized who had come to strip him of his boyhood. It was none other than...Azula!

"Daddy wanted me to kill you but I have grander plans in mind for you," Azula said with a twinkle in her eyes. With her were her two lesbian friends, Mai and Ty Lee.

"Hurry up, Azula, we can't stay out that late tonight. The babysitter is only working until eleven," snarked Mai snarkily and emotionlessly.

"OPPOSITES ATTRACT!" Shouted Ty Lee happily. She was the lipstick lesbian in this scenerio.

"Gaang, I will set aside my intense hatred for you so we can band together and stop these bitches. Also, I love Toph." Zuko cried triumphently.

"Dude, back off. You're coming on too strong," Toph told him as he sniffed his smelly armpits. Zuko could only gaze in awe of the beauty and perfection in front of him.

"Totally," Sokka agreed. "I also think that opposites attract. Toph, you and I are completly different. I mean, you're blind...I can see...world of difference."

"I can see, too!" Whined Zouko. "I'm also rich and Toph totally poor. He's MINE."

"Um...hello?" Azula caught their attention sociopathologically. "Oh and, _you're _mine." You could cut the sexual tension in the room with a boomerang.

"Let's just kick ther asses," Aang said gleefully. Katara gasped motherly.

"Aang, I am your mother and I will not tolerate you speaking like that in front of me! Hold thy tongue."

"I'm sorry, baby," Aang blushed as he tried to make a move. This action proves Freuds theory.

"OKAY LET'S KILL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!" The curvy Ty Lee shouted evilly in character.

"Hey, don't call me that," Aang rebutled savagely in character.

"I need to hold my beautiful baby, Ten Ten!" Mai announced desperately and emotionally in character.

"Have you been running through my mind all day?" Sokka asked sauvely as he hit on Toph.

Toph just belched the alphabet. In character.

"Toph, I love you so much. When I kill Aang, we can be together forever," Zuko gushed to the twelve year old peasant boy.

"Do _not _speak to my child like that," Katara warned him motherly.

"I need to please Daddy," Azula cried out as she lunged for Zuko. Obviously, the Fire Nation likes to keep their gene pool uncontaminated.

Momo and Apu were making out. That's canon.

And so the renegade group of young misfits banded together to stop incest from becoming all too very real. Katara, Aang, and Zuko summoned their magic powers to control their respective elements. Toph gathered all his super strength and readied for battle. Sokka just stood there. It had begun.

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Part two will be released shortly. Hope you liked it, and I definately hope you knew this was a joke. Yes, name's are misspelled. Yes, canon was raped in the butt. Yes, this is very stupid. Comment and rate! Oh and if you liked this story, I have a similar _NARUTO _fanfic.


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